thoughts

Okay so last night I was thinking about my grandpa- he died a few years ago just after Thanksgiving. No one was suppose to make it and it turned out to be one of the biggest Thanksgivings my grandma had, one person was Zach. He was suppose to be with his family and ended up having the time to come with me and eat. My grandpa sat with us at the kids table and I remember him being so red and sweaty and hot.
I miss him so much and wonder what he would be like with my kids. He use to just look at you and you knew to stop exactly what you were doing! He use to let me crawl in his lap and he would brush my hair. I can still hear his voice.
He use to smoke a pipe but quit when my gram got breast cancer, everytime I pass someone smoking I have to linger...for a couple seconds.
I feel so bad for my gram too- granted she is so busy and has carried on well but she tells me that when she gets hurt she will curse at him or talk to him at night..she always wakes up at the time things happened too.
I remember that night, we got the call and headed straight for the emergency room, we had to wait for my uncle and aunt to show before my gram and great aunt would tell us anything. I remember them saying he was gone and my knee just starting shaking like an earthquake. I remember having to go to the bathroom and seeing the peramedics sitting at the desk- and of course it was Oliver....I made his coffee everyday! But seeing him I knew that my grandpa couldnt have been in better hands.
I miss him alot and wish he was around.
My Grandma knows he is around, I dont know how I feel but I do know I miss him, he was my favorite and I miss him.